The year I was sixteen, I spent away from home, going to school. I remember it well, almost all of it, meaning I remember what I did and what happened during that year … even the first the train ride down south to there.
I remember being a little homesick in the beginning … homesick for my friends, but that quickly dissolved as I adjusted and made new friends. We were twelve girls, from all parts of the country, living in the same building, adjacent to the school, and we all had our own room.
Being away from home and my mother at that young age was, of course, marvellous at first, but after a while it became normal as everything else. We had a certain surveillance, where we lived … we had to be in and accounted for a certain time of night — different on weekends, I can’t remember the time. After 9 o’clock at night all visitors had to be out, and they checked our rooms.
In general, I remember this year as a good time and the second semester we had all adjusted so well, so we didn’t want it to end. A friend of mine had found out about a course one could take afterwards, in the same city. It was provided by a big corporation … something similar to General Electric in the States, perhaps [in Sweden called ASEA at the time, nowadays ABB]. Anyway, we would have spent two more years there, been paid during the course and guaranteed a job when we were finished.
She and I talked about opting for that … finding ourselves a little apartment to share … but then there was my mother! She put the kibosh on that! It wasn’t gonna happen, I was going back home and that was it! Important here is that my mum was a woman of great will power, and that power certainly included me! I was kind of ‘weak’ also … and I knew going against her would have meant breaking off with her. That’s a big decision at that age!
So I went back, and she even had a job interview arranged for me. Got the job and kept it for twelve years.
Looking back at this phase of my life, forty some years later … what I find most odd about all of it, is all the things I can’t remember! For the life of me, I can’t remember my own thoughts and dreams! What did I want out of life? What were my goals? I have no idea! It seems as if I lived so much in the present that I didn’t pay any attention at all to the future. Often, I read and hear about young girls, whose only dream in life if getting married and have kids. That, I can say for sure, wasn’t one of mine. If there is anything at all, that sticks out in my mind, it would be that I wanted a place of my own … my own home, but that would take a few years.
One could always ponder what my life would have looked like if I’d stood up to my mother, but that’s impossible and a total waste of time. We make our choices in life and they are just that … choices. There isn’t any right or wrong here, but I still find it odd that I didn’t have any dreams or goals. I don’t regret going back, those following, twelve years, were probably the best ever, in my working life. Here I am … five years later!
The other girl, who I planned sharing an apartment with, she got married shortly afterwards, became a nurse, and got five kids! I have her on Facebook 🙂