Some were really thought provoking, they made me review my life and the choices I’ve made … all in different ways. The blog about goals, is really a whole series of posts and it has made me realize I never set any goals for myself. Choices — yes, many! Goals — no?! Now I feel terrible! I even asked my husband if he had had goals and he had. Maybe life had turned out totally different if I’d set some goals for myself, but I prefer not to speculate in what might have been. Life just unfolded, but the thing is: I’m really happy with the way it turned out. Of course I have regrets … I’d be lying otherwise, but they aren’t major and they certainly don’t keep me awake at night.
Don’t get me wrong, my life hasn’t been a smooth ride and in hindsight I wonder how I managed to cope at all — that I didn’t at one single moment even consider suicide. Things often seem to appear worse in hindsight, compared to when you’re in the midst of them. Many people have told me that I’m so strong to have managed this or that. That always baffles me as I don’t see myself as a very strong person. Well, maybe … mentally — I’ve managed to stay sane. I’m not implying that I’ve had it any worse than anybody else, as we all have our burdens to bear. Everything is relative and I won’t go into any details here on this blog. Anyway, I’ve sailed through these fifty six years without goals, but still I don’t feel that it was aimlessly.
Expectations, I’ve had a few but I can’t say that’s because other people have talked me into them. You know how people can say things like «just wait until you’re my age … then you’ll know how it feels!» My Mum was really good at saying things like that, but I don’t think I paid any real attention to it because it didn’t sound very appealing. I remember my expectations, while waiting for my first, own apartment! I could hardly wait, and once there, the feeling even outweighed my expectations. It was all MINE, and I could decorate it whatever way I saw fit.
I’ve had expectations in people, but those were the times I got disappointed. Broken trust isn’t easily fixed. Finally I came across one of all those motivational quotes … it said something like ‘the only person you can change is yourself’, and that rang so true to me. Today I was disappointed because I wanted to buy a domain name [colderweather.com] — I knew it was about to be released any day now, and found that somebody else beat me to it. Too bad, but I brushed that off easily.
Other, minor disappointments have been when my own mind has fooled me. Quite often, I tend to make myself an inner vision of a place, because of a song. Very Lynn sang about ‘a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square’. I went to Berkeley Square [London, UK] in 1983, with my, dream-like image of the place and was almost devastated. Galveston, TX, I’ve never been to but I’ve seen pictures … didn’t live up either LOL.
…and just to explain about Galveston — here goes:
If you take time out to click the link about expectations, I promise you’ll get a good laugh when you read a couple of the comments — I’ll never think of «Freshly Pressed» the same way again! 🙂